Quotes

[Niemz]

Film (1st 6 movies)
* "Well Bones, do the new medical facilities meet with your approval?" -- Kirk
o "They do not. It's like working in a d**n computer center" -- McCoy (Star Trek: TMP)

* "Spock, will you please sit down!" -- Kirk (Star Trek: TMP)

* "Just a moment, Captain, sir. I'll explain what happened. Your revered Admiral Nogura invoked a little known, seldom used, reserve activation clause. In simpler language, Captain, they drafted me!" -- McCoy (Star Trek: TMP)

* "Spock. This child is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth. Now, what do you suggest we do....spank it?" -- McCoy (Star Trek: TMP)

* "Your child is having a tantrum, Mr. Spock." -- McCoy (Star Trek: TMP)

* "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... Message Spock?" -- Kirk
o "None that I am concious of... except, of course, Happy Birthday. Surely the best of times" -- Spock (Star Trek II)

* "Humour. It is a difficult concept" -- Saavik (Star Trek II)

* "Who's been holding up the d**n elevator?" -- McCoy (Star Trek II)

* "It has always been easier to destroy that to create" -- Spock
o "Not anymore! Now we can do both at the same time. According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now watch out! Here comes Genesis, we'll do it for ya in six minutes." -- McCoy, in Kirk's ready room, after viewing the Project Genesis film (Star Trek II)

* "Where are we going?" -- McCoy
o "Where they went." -- Kirk
o "What if they went nowhere?" -- McCoy
o "Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all." -- Kirk, directing the search party to beam to the last coordinates of the transporter room in the deserted science lab (Star Trek II)

* "I'm delighted. Any chance to go aboard the Enterprise." -- Sulu
o "Well, I for one am glad to have you at the helm for three weeks. I don't think these kids can steer." -- Kirk (Star Trek II)

* "I have been, and ever shall be, your friend. Live long, and prosper." -- Spock (Star Trek II)

* "How many fingers am I holding up?" -- Kirk, making the Vulcan salute
o "That's not very d**n funny." -- McCoy (Star Trek III)

* "Don't call me Tiny." -- Sulu (Star Trek III)

* "You're suffering from a Vulcan Mind Meld, Doctor." -- Kirk
o "That green-blooded Son of a pregnant dog. It's his revenge for all those arguments he lost to me." -- McCoy (Star Trek III)

* "My God, what have I done?" -- Kirk
o "What you always do. Turn death into a fighting chance to live." -- McCoy (Star Trek III)

* "You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor." -- Kirk
o "That green-blooded sonofapregnant dog. It's his revenge for all those arguments he lost." -- McCoy (Star Trek III)

* "You're not exactly catching us at our best" -- Kirk
o "That much is certain" -- Spock (Star Trek IV)

* "No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space." -- Kirk (Star Trek IV)

* "Avoid the planet Earth at all costs. Farewell" -- Federation President (Star Trek IV)

* "Spock, where the hell's the power you promised?" -- Kirk
o "One d**n minute, admiral" -- Spock (Star Trek IV)

* "Him? He's harmless. Back in the '60s he was part of the peace movement at Berkeley. I think he did a little too much LDS" -- Kirk
o "LDS?" -- Dr. Gillian Taylor
o "Umm-huh" -- Kirk, trying to explain Spock's weirdness as a result of LSD, and comfusing his 20th century Earth history (Star Trek IV)

* "d**n medievalism!" -- McCoy (Star Trek IV)

* "Nobody understands you in this century unless you swear every other word. You'll find it in all the literature of the era: Jackelyn Susann, the novels of Harrold Robbins." -- Kirk
o "Ah, the giants." -- Spock (Star Trek IV)

* "Sounds more like the goddam Spanish Inquisition." -- McCoy, to Kirk, after listening to to two 20th century doctors discussing treatments in an elevator (Star Trek IV)

* "Don't mess around with me or you're through!" -- Naval Commander
o "Really? Can I go now?" -- Chekov (Star Trek IV)

* "Captain, I do not believe you realize the gravity of your situation" -- Spock
o "On the contrary, gravity is the foremost thing on my mind" -- Kirk, while climbing El Capitan in Yosemite Nat'l Park (Star Trek V)

* "Jim, you don't go around asking the Almighty for his I.D.!" -- McCoy (Star Trek V)

* "Captain, life is not a dream." -- Spock (Star Trek V)

* "I was attempting to ascertain the meaning of the lyrics." -- Spock
o "It's a song, you green-blooded...Vulcan. You don't analyse it. The point is you have a good time singing it." -- McCoy
o "Oh, I am sorry, Doctor. Were we having a good time?" -- Spock, after trying to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" (Star Trek V)

* "Beans. My great grand daddy's recipe. With a secret ingredient." -- McCoy
o "Beans and bourbon. An explosive combination." -- Kirk (Star Trek V)

* "I need a shower." -- Kirk
o [Sniffing] "Yes." -- Spock (Star Trek V)

* "Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons." -- Spock, to Kirk, refusing a hug (Star Trek V)

* "Do you think He's really out there!?" -- McCoy, re God
o [points to his heart] "He's not out there Bones, He's in here." -- Kirk (Star Trek V)

* "To be... or not to be... that is the question which troubles my people" -- General Chang (Star Trek VI)

* "Guess who's coming to dinner" -- Chekov (Star Trek VI)

* "We need breathing room!" -- General Chang
o "Earth. Hitler. 1938" -- Kirk (Star Trek VI)

* "Where's that d**n torpedo?" -- Kirk (Star Trek VI)

* "Uhura, signal our surrender" -- Kirk
o "Captain!!??" -- Uhura
o "We surrender!!" -- Kirk (Star Trek VI)

* "Ahh, Mr. Scott, I understand you're having difficulty with the warp drive. How much time do you require for repair?" -- Spock
o "There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!" -- Scotty
o "Mr. Scott, if we return to Spacedock, the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the captain, or Dr. McCoy, alive again" -- Spock
o "Could take weeks, sir" -- Scotty
o "Thank you, Mr. Scott" -- Spock (Star Trek VI)

* "If I were human, I believe the correct response would be 'Go to Hell'" -- Spock's response to a Starfleet summons (Star Trek VI)

* "I am constant as the Northern Star." -- Chang over the Enterprise intercom
o "I'd give real money if he'd shut up." -- McCoy to Spock (Star Trek VI)

* "You can't appreciate Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon." -- General Chang (Star Trek VI)

* "Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end." -- Spock (Star Trek VI)

[Niemz]

Star Trek: The Original Series

* "... a dream that became a reality and spread throughout the stars" -- Kirk (Whom Gods Destroy)

* "Just before they went into warp, I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all." -- Scotty, explaining how he got rid of the tribbles (The Trouble With Tribbles)

* "Right out of hell, I saw it!" -- Commodore Decker, describing the Planet Killer (The Doomsday Machine)

* "You will die of suffocation, in the icy cold of space" -- Kang (Day of the Dove)

* "The mid-1990s was the era of your so-called Third World War" -- Spock (Space Seed)

* "We simply must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive" -- Spock (The Tholian Web)

* "They seemed to have been spared the agony of your first three World Wars, doctor" -- Spock (Bread and Circuses)

* "You are authorized to use all measures available to destroy the Enterpise" -- Starfleet Command Representative (The Ultimate Computer)

* "I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage" -- Korax (The Trouble With Tribbles)

* "Random chance seems to have operated in our favor" -- Spock
o "In plain, non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky" -- McCoy
o "I believe I said that, Doctor" -- Spock (The Doomsday Machine)

* "Unbelievable. Do you recognize those uniforms?" -- Kirk
o "Mid 20th century Earth. The nation-state called Nazi Germany." -- Spock (Patterns of Force)

* "You look quite well for a man that's been 'utterly destroyed', Mr. Spock." -- Kirk (Patterns of Force)

* "In four hours the ship blows up" -- Scotty (The Savage Curtain)

* "Computer, compute to the last digit the value of pi" -- Spock (Wolf in the Fold)

* "What are we looking at, a 20th century Rome?" -- Kirk (Bread and Circuses)

* "Is there anyone on this ship, who even remotely, looks like Satan?" -- Kirk
o "I am not aware of anyone who fits that description, Captain" -- Spock
o "No, Mr. Spock, I didn't think you would be" -- Kirk (The Apple)

* "Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That's the only planet in the galaxy that can make that claim." -- Kirk (Elaan of Troyius)

* "Does everyone know about this grain but me?" -- Kirk
o "Not everyone, Kepten, it's a Russian inwention." -- Checkov (The Trouble With Tribbles)

* "Now this is a drink for a man." -- Scott
o "Scotch?" -- Checkov
o "Aye." -- Scott
o "It vas inwented by a little old lady in Lenningrad." -- Checkov (The Trouble With Tribbles)

* "Emotional, isn't she?" -- Spock
o "She has always been so." -- Sarek
o "Indeed. Why did you marry her?" -- Spock
o "It seemed the logical thing to do at the time." -- Sarek (Journey To Babel)

* "Ston, she is yours. You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. This is not logical, but it is often true." -- Spock (Amok Time)

* "Live long and prosper, Spock." -- T'Pau
o "I shall do neither. I have killed my captain, and my friend." -- Spock (Amok Time)

* "The best diplomat that I know is a fully-loaded phaser bank." -- Lt. Cdr. Montgomery Scott ("A Taste of Armageddon")

* "Please, Spock, do me a favor ... 'n' don't say it's `fascinating'..." -- Dr. McCoy
o "No... but it is... interesting..." -- Spock (The Ultimate Computer)

* "... and tell Doctor McCoy, he should have wished me luck." -- Spock (The Immunity Syndrome)

* "Shut-up, Spock! We're rescuing you!" -- McCoy
o "Why, thank you, captain McCoy." -- Spock, to McCoy after he tells Kirk something about leaving him (The Immunity Syndrome)

* "You! What planet is this?" -- McCoy, to a homeless person upon appearing in 1930's Chicago (City on the Edge of Forever)

* "You can stop it!" -- Anan 7, Leader of the High Council of Eminiar VII, describing the horrors of the impending war to a hostage Kirk
o "Stop it? I'm counting on it!" -- Kirk (A Taste of Armegedon)

[Niemz]

may' Daa jaHDI' SuvwI' juppu' Daj lonbe

(When a warrior goes into battle, he does not abandon his friends)

tajwIj 'oHbe' chorlIj jeqbogh Dochvetlhe'e

(That is not my dagger protruding from your midsection)

QamuIs Heg qaq law' lorvIs yInqaq puS

(Better to die on your feet than live on your knees)

pot'hbe'chug yay qatlh p"eghlu'

(If winning is not important, why keep score?)

bortaS blr jablu'Dl'reH QaQqu'nay'

(Revenge is a dish which is best served cold)

Duj HvoqtaH

(Always trust your instincts)

chop'a'

(Does it bite?)

qaStaH nuq jay

(What the @#$! is happening?!)

bljeghbe'chug vaj blHegh

(Surrender or die!)

ama'pu' vljonta' neH

(I wanted to capture prisoners!)

chuyDah yllaQ

(Fire the thrusters!)

Qapla' Balth je'

(Honour and success)

tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'e'

(Do you speak Klingon?)

nuq Daq 'oH puchp"e'

(Where is the bathroom?)

yIvoq 'ach lojm Itmey yISam

(Trust, but locate the doors)

rot yittmey ghom Hoch

(Everyone encounters Tribbles occasionally)

Hiq DasammeH tach yI'el

(To find ale, go into a bar)

nuq'neH

(What do you want?)

pIch vighajbe'

(It's not my fault)

naDevvo' yIghoS

(Go away!)

nuqjatlh

(What did you say?)

tlhIngan jIHbe'

(I am not a Klingon)

nuq Daq yuch Dapol

(Where do you keep the chocolate?)

jIyajbe

(I do not understand)

qaStaHnuq

(What happened?)

epetai-zana

(Honoured and exalted one)

bItu Hpa' bIHeghjaja

(Death before shame)

teskas tal'tai-kleon

(Complements to a worthy opponent)

DaHjajaj QaQ Daghajjaj

(Have a nice day)

rauDaqj IQongn ISq"a'

(Do I NEED to sleep on the floor?)

toDwI'maj qoSyItIvqu'

(Merry Christmas!)

Dochvam vIDop net pIH'a'

(Am I supposed to eat this?)

DuSaQ vumghzchwIj Sopta; targwIj

(My targ ate my homework!)

Qapla'

(Success!)

qaleghnes

(I am honoured to see you)

jIjatlhpa' jatlh Homvey

(The stars will talk before I will)

reH nay'meylIjyIn Dujablu'jaj

(may your dishes be always served alive)

HItlhejQo'neS

(Take a hike. Please. Sir.)

jIQum 'ej jIHoH

(I communicate and I kill)

jachchoHmeH 'Iwraj penaghtaH

(Mate until your blood screams)

[Niemz]

choSuvchugh 'oy'lIj Daghur neH

(Struggling only makes it hurt more)

naDev qaS wanl' ramqu'

(There's nothing happening here)

batlh Daqawlu'taH

(You will be rembered with honour!)

yIn nI' je chep

(Live long and prosper)

veQDuj'oH Dujllj'e'

(Your ship is a garbage scow!)

Do'Ha'

(That is unfortunate)

Hijol

(Beam me aboard)

Dubotchugh yIpummoH

(If it`s in your way, knock it down)

batlh pothl law` yIn pothl puS

(Honour is more important than life)

bathl bIHeghjaj

(May you die well)

jeghbe` thlInganpu`

(Klingons do not surrender)

bomDI' 'IwwIj qaqaw

(The memory of you sings in my blood)

pujwI' HIvlu'chugh quvbe'lu'

(There is no honour in attacking the weak)

bISovbejbe'DI' tImer

(When in doubt, surprise them)

pop 'oH ghob'e'

(Virtue is the reward)

reH 'eb tu'lu'

(There is always a chance)

ghIj qet jaghmeyjaj

(May your enemies run with fear)

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam

(It is a good day to die)

vay' DaneHbogh yIchargh

(Conquer what you desire)

yIlop! wa'IeS chaq maHegh!

(Celebrate! Tomorrow we may die!)

naDev qaS wanl' ramqu'

(Nothing's happening)

jIwuQ

(I have a headache)

pa'jIHpu'be'

(I wasn't there)

bIpIvHa'law'

(You seem unhealthy)

bImoHqu'

(You are very ugly)

qaSuj'a'

(Am I disturbing you?)

bIleSnIS

(You need a rest)

Bet'ala nog'tor

(Look at this)

Bosh-ta-jah Veridian

(Set course for Veridian?)

Cha Worf Toh'gah-nah lo Pre'tOk

(For he's (Worf) a jolly good fellow)

tu maq Dagh cha doH boraq

(Which nobody can deny)

DaHjaj SuvwI''e' jiH

(Today I am a warrior)

d'kar tel G'denna

(I want to see the blood running through your veins)

De-lak DOH!

(Take your stations!)

yIHarQo'! nepwI' ghaH!

(Do not believe him! He is a liar!)

tlhIH ghIj jIHyoj

(I fear your judgement)

tIqwIj Sa'angnIS

(I must show you my heart)

SoS jIH batlh SoH

(Mother, I honor you)

Domach 'a chIy ghoS 'epagh

(Can you be a victor of the heart as well as the sword?)

ghIj ghet jaghmeyjaj

(May your enemies run in fear)

HIHIvqa' may' pequ' moH

(The bile of the vanquished flows over my hands)

'IStovIy chuch tlhIng nuq?

(Would you kill me too)

'Iw bIQtIqDaq jIjaH

(I travel the river of blood)

jIbechrup may' vIloS

(The battle is mine. I crave only the blood of the enemy)

jIH DoQ batlh

(I claim the honor)

jIqta'

(You have wounded me)

qoS toma 'epaq qaver

(The day is not yet over)

meqlo boH qa mech

(I smell the burning of your blood)

paqIt pol

(If you don't like it, don't eat it!)

pIqar Durgh le vIraknIl

(You call this live?)

Qab jIH naghIl

(Face me if you dare)

teDoQ ruS qa mech-toH

(The fire is your doing)

buy' ngop

(That's great news!)

Hab SoSlI' Quch!

(Your mother has a smooth forehead!)

qoSlIj DatIvjaj

(Happy birthday)

lojmIt yIpoSmoH!

(Open the door!)

yIDoghQo'

(Don't be silly)

tujqu'choH QuQ

(The engine is overheating)

'arlogh Qoylu'pu'?

(What time is it?)

bIyem'a'

(Will you sin?)

charghbej vIt

(The truth shall conquer)

reH nuHmey tu'lu'

(There are always weapons)

[straal]

okay, here's my first post.
It's not a quote that you will see/hear in any movie or episode.

It's a reflextion that William Shatner made about his co-star Sulu (aka Georgie) and his "coming out"

"He always had us laughing, he would always set his phaser setting on "FAAABULOUS"

[earthcrusher]

"NUMBER ONE, I ORDER YOU TO TAKE A NUMBER TWO." Beavis and Butthead

[Lexi]

I dunno, the Roast of William Shatner was probably the funniest thing I saw all year xD

"We all know Shatner's nuts...but George [Takei] has actually tasted them!"
"I'm George Takei, not Tak-EYE as you've insisted on pronouncing it for the last forty years! Tak-AY, as in 'toupee"?"