51
"Jack Bauer Camp" makes "Guantanamo Bay" sound like a weekend retreat in the Hamptons.
103
6.57
52
On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
91
6.57
53
If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run.
237
6.57
54
Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.
311
6.56
55
After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List.
153
6.56
56
The only reason the Chinese kept Jack alive is so that he could bring down the population.
237
6.56
57
MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one.
164
6.56
58
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important.
90
6.56
59
Jack Bauer is currently involved in a complex law suit with the California Department of Justice due to their attempt to ban Jack Bauer as an "Assault Weapon". Jack maintains he is primarily used for hunting and target shooting, and is quite safe to have around families.
But statistics don't lie.
142
6.55
60
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
2506
6.54
61
Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that girl thingy went to the hospital first.
926
6.53
62
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
2761
6.53
63
In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.
651
6.53
64
When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.
219
6.53
65
Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
785
6.52
66
Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk.
169
6.52
67
Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever.
241
6.51
68
RIP Edgar
If you see this give it a 10.
Just cuz it's what Edgar would have wanted.
963
6.5
69
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
3748
6.5
70
When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
742
6.49
71
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
1590
6.48
72
On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
1058
6.47
73
As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once.
99
6.46
74
The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side.
133
6.46
75
Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun.
192
6.46
76
There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.
1622
6.45
77
Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first.
227
6.45
78
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
3306
6.45
79
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the f**k have you done with your life?
2896
6.45
80
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
1447
6.44
81
When Santa Claus asked Jack Bauer what he wanted for Christmas, he snapped his neck. No one interrogates Jack Bauer and gets away with it.
82
6.44
82
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
3583
6.43
83
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
1180
6.43
84
American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for 24.
337
6.42
85
Jack Bauer arrested RoboCop. Think about that.
130
6.42
86
Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.
762
6.42
87
The Supreme Court ruled unanimously that Jack Bauer's methods were "cruel and unusual punishment". The next day the Supreme Court had nine vacancies.
57
6.42
88
Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
894
6.42
89
When Jack says "I won't take no for an answer" you better not say no.
58
6.41
90
Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer. But that is only because he can fly away.
105
6.41
91
"You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists.
147
6.41
92
Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
853
6.41
93
Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist.
374
6.4
94
Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
838
6.39
95
When Special Forces raided an afghan training camp, they found an empty camp and a pirated copy of 24 Season 4.
139
6.39
96
Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's f**king Jack Bauer.
588
6.39
97
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
1650
6.38
98
Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way.
745
6.38
99
In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?
919
6.38
100
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
2587
6.38
